yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
