I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
