we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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