Don't you send me to vm
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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