The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
