when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
