I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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