i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
