I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
