Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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