her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
