i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
