I just saw a hot homeless man
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
