After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
