girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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