You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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