i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
