ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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