Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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