I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
