38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
