First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Say something about gay babies.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
