You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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