he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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