i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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