I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
