I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
