office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
