Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize