You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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