God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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