is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
