Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
