Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
