i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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