The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
