just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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