Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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