so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
