The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
