marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
