was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
