I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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