The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
