When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
