Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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