Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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