rhymes with "ouble enetration"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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