wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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