I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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