So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
