Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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